Surfing the Waves
A Dancer's View
Catalyst Dance blog series offering the dancer's view into the research and development of "A Port in the Storm" premiering July 2nd, 2015 at The Mansion in Vancouver, Canada
Surfing the Waves
By Lesley Kosinski
I’m feeling a lot of different things, just a day before our show, A Port in the Storm. A knot in my stomach, nervous about what’s to come next. Butterflies fluttering around my heart,excited to experience the culmination of our blood, sweat, and tears (literally). And a sense of peace, knowing that no matter what happens tomorrow, next week, or in ten years, I’m going to be okay. That has definitely come from the work I’ve been fortunate enough to do with our director Desirée. Meditating, energy work, personal inner explorations, and many open-hearted, soul-bearing discussions combined with the physical work have brought me to a new place. It’s brought me back to my path, my purpose, my spirituality, my truest self.
This was put to the test a month ago when I injured my back. I wanted to quit. I pitied myself, why me? All those voices in my head telling me I’m not good enough, I’m a failure, I can’t do anything right had become true in a split second. My mind told me the stories, and I believed every word. It’s always so easy to crawl into your cave and live in your shit, but so much harder to get out. Desirée created a safe container for us to be open and vulnerable, and gave us tools to shift and grow. She gave me the space and time to process my emotions and inner dialogue, while still pushing me in those difficult spots. I am grateful for the support of these six incredible women I’ve spent countless hours with over the past two months.
I’ve made it past this obstacle, and I know there will be more. That’s the roller coaster of life, always up and down. It’s what gives life its true beauty and mystery. I love the quote “It’s not about stopping the waves from coming, but learning how to surf.” My Catalyst experience has undeniably been a surf camp, can’t wait to catch my next wave.
Above photo of Lesley by Sepehr Samimi